Easy DIY Inkblot Pillow {Plus Free Psych Eval}

Have you ever wondered if you demonstrate any traits typically aligned with a hamster running in its wheel, are the social equivalent of a spatula, or have an underlying attraction to canned beans?*

*No? What ARE you, sane?

Well, wonder no more. Behold: the inkblot pillow with which I will analyze your psyche.

The process of making said inkblot pillow/legit psyche analysis tool was simple: I dripped some stashed navy Olympic paint on one half of a stashed square piece of white fabric…

…then folded it over and pressed down gently, making sure all drips got flattened up against the other half.

Then I unfolded it and let it dry before sewing it to the rest of the pillow. Done and done. I am a girl after Rorschach’s own heart. (Do me a favor and pretend that makes sense.)

Now that you’ve gotten that mind-boggling tutorial, it’s time for that mind-boggling psychiatric eval. So picture us lounging in a comfortable room, filled with calming, sophisticated decor, me with pen in hand, patiently awaiting your brain dump. It looks something like this:

And I will say, “Tell me what you see. Tell me what you see. You are getting sleepy.” (Wait, what? No.)

Tell me that you see Bob Marley. Because I totally see Bob Marley. Upper corners. Yes? No? …?

Rick says it looks like a brain and that he doesn’t want a brain on display in his house. My professional evaluation of this is that his repugnancy has nothing to do with brains at all, but, rather, inextricably linked to the fact that he is a man. And like most men, he has a subconscious fear that pillows can bench-press more than him and defeat him in a chicken wing-eating contest, and also that pillows are capable of sneaking into his bedroom and chopping off his…arm. Yep, we’ll go with arm. And yes, I know what you’re thinking: finally, a logical explanation for why my husband hates my decorative pillows. You’re welcome.

I asked Kenley what she saw and she said “coogurgeeeehhhhlaa.” Which obviously means “I see an arachnid weaving a vast web of beauty and grace.” Thoughtful, succinct, poetic. She obviously has a brilliant mother. ;)

What do YOU see in the inkblot?  Do you agree with my explanation of why men hate pillows?

P.S. Want to see more pillows? I promise they don’t come with psych evals.

smile pillow, lace overlay pillow, gift bow pillow

 

Linking up to Rock What Ya Got!

Smile, I Made a Gold-Painted “Smile” Pillow

I participated in the following conversation last week:

Rick: Where did you get that from?

Erin: I made it.

Rick: No you didn’t.

Erin: Um, yes I did.

Rick: But it’s so perfect.

Erin: Thank you?

This was my first attempt at painting fabric, and I just used regular white fabric and water-based acrylic paint I had left from this drippy watercolor dot painting. I know some people have mixed the paint with something called fabric medium or something like that, but I didn’t. This is mainly because I don’t know what that even is, AND it was not in my immediate possession. Smile, I am clueless. And impatient.

Aaaand then I stuffed it with fiberfill from a deformed pillow that came with an old comforter. Sometimes things just have to be sacrificed in the name of cheap.

Seriously, I don’t know why I didn’t think of this sooner…instead of buying the sometimes-pricey bags of fiberfill from the craft store, buy the old ugly pillows that are on clearance because nobody wants them. And then destroy them, which technically should have been done before they ever hit the stores and/or homes in the first place. This one would be a perfect victim, for example:

Source

On that note…some things that make me smile lately other than the thought of burning that pillow:

• Feeling my baby do gymnastics at all hours of the day.
• Spending time with my brother who is home from Arizona for a bit.
• Watching my dad beam with absolute pride and excitement as he directs the orchestra of Les Miserables…of which I am a (mostly) willing participant on the French horn.
• The hilarious comments of the 5 and 6-year olds at summer rec arts and crafts (“I can see seven germs on my desk!”).
• Watching Rick have three potential job prospects within two weeks of finding out that his pharmacy (at a long-term care facility) is going to be outsourced…and all within four days of applying for said jobs. That whole deal isn’t over yet--and definitely didn’t begin with either of us smiling--but we’ve cast our anxieties on the Lord and He is so clearly already showing His faithfulness. :) :) (That deserves TWO smiles.)

What makes YOU smile lately?

Stamped Packing Peanut Painting {Easy Art}

Making this art is easy. Saying the name with which I’ve christened it….not so much. I won’t recommend anything foolish like “say that 5 times fast” because you and I would both regret that and you would be embarrassed.

This simple 8x10 packing peanut art is officially the first decoration for baby’s nursery and was inspired by a giant bag of packing peanuts that I found in my parents’ basement. All you need to make your own is paint and…packing peanuts. You really only need a few, although I found it helpful to have one designated for each of the five colors I used.

On an unrelated note, having a baby makes me want to swath our entire house in bright and bold and color. Byebye, “grown-up” neutrals. Did this happen to anyone else?

Also, packing peanuts come in different shapes, but the ones I used to create this painting are shaped like figure 8s. Some are shaped like an S (which could also be cool) and some are shaped like turds. If you have been secretly pining for a turd-shaped stamp and real turds are in short supply then make those your go-to variety of packing peanut. And also invest in some prunes. Okay, this just got really gross and weird. Forget I said anything about turds.

No matter what shape you choose, you simply dip the packing peanut into your paint and stamp away to your little heart’s content. Like I said, easy. Kids could do it! While blindfolded! Using only their pinky toes!

I plan to test my theory when baby is born. Surely infants are even capable of this level of crafting.

I’m actually 27 weeks now, but who’s counting? I definitely didn’t know that yesterday was 13 weeks from my due date. And I definitely didn’t know that Sunday marked 3 months until my due date. And Rick definitely doesn’t have a countdown on his computer at work. No, nobody’s counting. We’re actually not excited at all.*

*Biggest lie I’ve ever told.

Would you stamp with packing peanuts? Have you ever stamped with anything unusual? What are you *totally not* excited about these days?

Going Drip-Splat-Smear Happy {Imprecise Watercolor Dot Art}

Allow me to highlight some key differences between myself and Rick.

Difference #1: Rick stores his ties from a hanger and makes sure that all are hung at precisely the same height. I store my scarves in a box on the floor and occasionally even on the floor. No precision required.

Difference #2: Rick puts all of the forks in one side of the dishwasher utensil rack and all of the spoons in the other. All happily facing the same way. I shove. To use the term “haphazardly” would be generous.

Difference #3: All of the bills in Rick’s wallet are sorted from smallest to largest, neatly flattened, upright and facing the same way. My purse contains 98% unnecessary junk and eats things. Rick went in there to find something last night and came back 10 minutes later slightly chewed asking me “how I ever found anything in there.”

In sum: I work hard at embracing my inner slob.

So you can imagine that when Rick came home to see this splattered and smeared and drippy and entirely imprecise watercolor propped against the den wall…

…his expression looked something like this.

In case you need further confirmation of my slob-fest, all of the dripping and smearing and splattering was sort of an accident. Said accident was brought about by me being in a ginormous hurry budgeting my time wisely, and then I just went drip-splat-smear happy and messed up the whole thing. I believe it was Picasso who once said “Art is born in moments of irrational haste.”*

*Picasso never said that.

The frame and mat used to live in my parents’ attic. It also used to sport two ladies lounging in what appears to be the middle of a lush meadow.

I sprayed them with paint. Lush meadows are overrated.

I made the big dots just by smearing on some watered-down craft paint with a paintbrush. I didn’t measure or use a stencil. (That would require time, people.)

Does this color remind anyone else of boxed macaroni and cheese?

The next step in my madness involved accidentally letting said dots drip all over because, in my impatience, I picked up the thing before it was dry. Fail. (But I like it better this way. I am slob, hear me roar.)

This whole mess was inspired by this much prettier and less drippy watercolor dot painting that I’ve had pinned for a while. This whole mess is also currently alone in inhabiting the space above the desk in our den. It might need a friend or two to watch over it and make sure its purse doesn’t get too messy, if they are willing to look beneath its disheveled outward appearance and see the tender soul inside who just doesn’t have time to concern itself with organized forks and spoons.

Whose neatness does yours most closely match: mine or Rick’s? Have you ever been working on something and then accidentally-on-purpose made it messy? Anyone else have a man-eating purse? Please do spill. (Or splatter. Or smear. You know, in keeping with the theme of this post.)

Linking to the Pinterest Challenge at Bower Power, Sparkle Meets Pop, Red Bird Blue, and Young House Love!

Six Easy Designs for Handmade Cards

It’s been a lot of years since I bought a card from the store. This might have something to do with the fact that I have enough card-making supplies stashed to build a small village out of cardstock and then fuel said village indefinitely using solely scrapbook paper.

One thing that sometimes gets me stuck, though, is deciding on a good layout for any given card. So as I was making a birthday card for my mother-in-law, I thought that I’d put together a little post on easy designs for handmade cards, just in case any of you want to make your own (perhaps for Mother’s Day? Father’s Day? Flag Day? My birthday is coming up in June…) but aren’t sure where to start.

Bonus tip before we begin: The key to any handmade card is layers. It’s sort of like putting together an outfit: everything that is added to the base via accessories or pattern only adds character and dimension and interest. (Within reason, of course. There is such a thing as too much bling. And too much mullet. Okay, so not everything you can add is helpful.)

Anyway, the birthday card I made for my mother-in-law has five total layers: the black card base, the polka dot paper, the ribbon, the aqua paper, and then the text. I guess you could count as a sixth layer the red dots that I added with marker.

With that in mind, here are six easy layouts (with multiple layers illustrated) for making your own handmade cards. They are so easy your dog could make them. So easy your husband could make them. (Okay, let’s not push it. Hi Rick.) ;)

---

Layout #1: A basic layout with predictable centered alignment. Keeping the sentiment and ribbon in the upper half divides the overall space in a less-uniform way.

Layout #2: Same as layout #1…but with the focus shifted slyly to the bottom half of the card instead of the top.

Layout #3: This one shifts to landscape. The ribbon divides the bottom half of the card and placing the sentiment to the right instead of the center makes the overall design look neat but not too contrived. 

Layout #4: Here we get wild and crazy and use not one, but two ribbons. The two ribbons add a bit more visual interest since everything is in the smack center of the card.

Layout #5: Two ribbons again, but here the sentiment and ribbons are shifted to the right half to divide the space in a more unpredictable way.

Layout #6: In more wild and crazy news, here the ribbon has the audacity to hang off the page and not even be cut in a straight line. The nerve.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

---

Of course these are just six of the many possibilities, and the sizes and shapes used in each can be adjusted for even more variation. And adding a blinged-out mullet would be a variation, too. Perhaps when celebrating National Mullet Awareness Day.

Are you a handmade card person, or do you prefer to buy? Will you ever attempt a handmade card? If we pooled our card-making resources, could be build a small country instead of just a village? Now accepting recommendations for the name of said village.

Linking up to Tater Tots & Jello!

Butterfly Explosion Thingy Wall Art (and Things I Am Bad At)

The following is a brief compilation of things I am bad at.

1. Video games. My eye-hand coordination rivals that of a dust mite.
2. Cooking. I once dumped an entire bag of flour into a pan of alfredo sauce. It was an accident, but still.
3. Athletics. See #1. Dust mites once beat me in a game of dodgeball.
4. Mingling. Social butterfly I am not.
5. Geography. Don’t ask me where a foreign country is located on a globe. I have family members (coughmomcoughbrother) who have the world memorized, or something. I sit by and try to look intelligent. And clean up stray dust mites.
6. Hanging things on walls. I have the HARDEST TIME figuring out what to fill empty space with. Dust mites don’t count. Take this exploding butterfly cut-out thingy, for example. (And add “Aptly and cleverly naming new projects” as #7 on the list of things I am bad at.)

Its predecessor, this Mayan relic, hung sideways on the living room wall for a good 6 weeks before I replaced it with the above butterfly explosion thingy. Family members who know things about geography questioned my decision-making and added “eyesight” to their mental lists of skill sets I am lacking.

The process of actually replacing the Mayan relic was simple once I figured out what to do. I used my Cricut and Sure Cuts a Lot to cut out a bunch of butterflies in varying shapes and sizes and colors, then glued them all down in an exploding-ish pattern.

The frame itself was $20 at Goodwill. I know how expensive large frames can be, so I bought two. The other one is hanging on the other side of the living room. Yes, it is also sideways, and yes, it also features desert pottery. I read somewhere that desert pottery looks better sideways. And now you read it somewhere, too, so it’s definitely a fact.

This whole project was inspired by this sculpture I found while browsing Pinterest. The butterflies are made out of recycled beer cans, people.

I’d have made mine out of beer cans myself but, whaddya know, we were fresh out of beer cans. And tin-smithing is #8 on the list of things I am bad at.

What are your self-professed non-talents? Any great ideas for what to fill the other frame with? Can you think of a better name for this project?

Linking up to the Pinterest Challenge with Megan (The Remodeled Life), Katie (Bower Power), Sherry (Young House Love) and Michelle (Decor and the Dog).

Year in Review: 2012 Blog Silliness

Upon reviewing the 2012 version of my blog, I have come to this conclusion: I have a habit of taking some totally normal topic and making it completely weird. And occasionally awkward. But I also came to the conclusion that being able to say whatever I want is actually why I enjoy writing this thing. So here’s to another year of silliness around these parts, and here’s to 10 crazy moments from this past year. :)

---

Top 10 “Why Did I Say That on the Internet and When Will I Learn Not to Mention Boobs in My Posts?” Moments of 2012

#1: The crazed acknowledgment of the time my cat became an artist (pronounced arteest), complete with a movie poster. Because all respectable prodigious cats have movies about their distinguished lives. And all respectable prodigious cat owners take the time to make movie posters for said prodigious cats.

#2: Divulging clinical symptoms of new homeowneritis, including but not limited to me wearing a lampshade on my head. Just when you thought it couldn’t get any more awkward.

#3: Discussing stool in conjunction with a stool makeover. It should have been a totally normal day on my blog. But apparently the word ‘stool’ is just too much for me to handle, as made evident by my multiple awkward references to potty business.

#4: Discussing bras in conjunction with an oversized ampersand. This is another post that should have been totally normal. But of course I had to go ruin it by mentioning lingerie.

#5: Explaining a chandelier update, and simultaneously going down the endowment path. Again. Some people never learn.

#6: Shameless promotion of shelves full of things I found in someone else’s trash. It’s a sickness.

#7: Comparing our “grown-up” bedroom makeover to bedrooms of yore, including one of my dorm rooms. Kittens. Teacups. Scary.

#8: Repeatedly confessing my love for Enchanted and forever sealing my nerdy princess fate by sharing the events in this post.

#9: Scoring a 10/10 on the Delusion Meter when it comes to having claws and vinyl-upholstered furniture in the same house. Hint: it doesn’t work. Your DIY ottoman will be destroyed.

#10: The post you just read…ensuring that nobody ever, ever, ever forgets these moments. Like, ever. (ohheyTaylorSwiftsongreferencefeelfreetosingalong)

---

Happy New Year, everyone! :)

***Linking this up to Southern Hospitality***