Burning Questions This Blog Has Failed to Answer

I had fun writing my last keyword stats post, so thought I’d put together a sister post of sorts, sticking this time to the questions people have asked that have landed them on my blog. Sadly, I’m doubting that they’ve ever found the answers that they were looking for….until now. Until I took the time to answer these Burning Questions, once and for all. I’ve linked the questions to the landing post in case your personal Burning Question is “What on earth is the connection between this query and Erin’s blog?”

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why don’t neighbors shut their curtains

Well, probably because they enjoy parading around in their skibbies and making onlookers squirm. They also know that they have onlookers and want to maximize on the awkwardness at the next neighborhood picnic. These are the most likely reasons.


how do you find a scissors thief 

First, call the police. When they laugh at you and hang up, take matters into your own nimble hands and read up on amateur sleuthing. Recommended literature: The Boxcar Children.


are pintucked comforters too girly

Never. There is no such thing as Too Girly. Unless the pintuck comforter is pink with sequins all over it, in which case it borders on A Slight Bit Too Feminine and May Offend Those With Mainly Testosterone.


can a spouse administer medication

If your spouse is millions of dollars in debt because he/she went to pharmacy school and successfully graduated, then yes. Otherwise, you’re out of luck. But you have more money, so all is good.


will a pharmacist work for cupcakes

YES. Well, no. He has millions in loans to pay off, remember? I doubt Sallie Mae would accept baked goods in lieu of accrued interest payoff.


are black lagoon pools popular

Only in the months since I posted about ours, naturally. Some things just catch on. Cabbage Patch Kids, Backstreet Boys, Silly Bands, Black Lagoon Pools…what will be next? Please tell me the Kardashians will not be responsible for it.


what year was the my size barbie made

No idea? Sorry. This is where my wisdom ends.


And my personal favorite:


should you cut a christmas tree with a circular saw

Absolutely not. Do not follow our poor example.

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So. Now that I’ve enlightened you with these answers, are there any other Burning Questions you’ve been dying to ask? Fire away. The doctor is IN. And I have a Burning Question for you: have you found anything fun in your keyword stats lately? :)

Schulz Lucy Doctor Is In


  1. I don't know if it is stranger that people ACTUALLY GOOGLED THOSE THINGS, or that they ended up on your blog because of them! HA HA HA!! Love these posts!!

  2. Hahahahahhahahahhaha...I cannot stop laughing. This is hysterical.

  3. I was laughing so hard at the potential answers you were going to come up with i could hardly make it through the post. this was awesome!

    burning question:

    if an old house come with a random closet do you paint a fence on it or tear it out?

  4. Hahahaha! This was awesome. The question about whether a spouse can administer meds reminded me of our childbirth class a couple years ago. There were only about four couples in it, and it's a 12-week class, so we all got to know each other very well. Toward the end, the instructor was talking about how the nurse will check to see how dilated you are, using their fingers as a measurement of centimeters. One of the husbands raised his hand and asked "Can the husband do it?" -- Followed by awkward, confused silence. I made sure Andy understood that was not an option for our family.

    Why do my comments on your blog always end up feeling like TMI? :)

  5. My favorite burning question this week was: How to Batman snowflakes.

    I'm not exactly sure, but would guess that it would involve a spoiled millionaire/orphan snowflake with a sense of vengeance and penchant for black pleather.

    I've had 18 searches for "how to batman snowflakes" lead to LHBH.

  6. I am not sure I can help with the theft of scissors but I am pretty sure we both know how to stop the theft of jolly ranchers from ones desk... :-D

  7. hahaha Rachel! I still wonder who was behind the theft of my candy...and if they enjoyed their salty treat...

  8. This was so entertaining and funny.

  9. You are hilarious!
    My keyword stats pale in comparison. I'm.quite.boring.really.

  10. Hahah these are great! THe best one I've seen for my site so far is "smell inside a wasching mashine". I immediately checked my grammar and the smell in my washing machine. :)

  11. Hahaha...can't. stop. laughing.
    Have to say, I've been looking a lot more closely at my keyword stats since you last brought this up. Mine are still not as exciting as yours :)

  12. This is so funny! Best keyword search for my blog this week - foldable Jesus Box. Now there is a handy item.

  13. So funny! Who asks these questions?? My most random search that I can remember was something like "large high quality picture of a rat." Nope, no rats here. Like Regan, I checked my house for rats! ;)

  14. Erin, this is hilarious!


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