TCIH: "A great place for storage!"

I'm baaaack with another edition of True Confessions of an Imperfect Homeowner, where I remind myself that it's OK to not be Martha Stewart. Rick and I definitely don't know what we're doing as we play house, but we're having fun learning. If you're just recently joining in, the first post was about how cat hair is taking over our house and the second was about our moldy refrigerator leftovers.

This time, the idea for a topic began with me not being able to find a pair of scissors. Now, I own, I think, 8 pairs of scissors. Eight. I am fairly certain that a scissor thief lives in this house, though, because I can rarely find a pair of them, and usually when I do, it's these weird bent ones that came with the pack of normal, healthy scissors. So our thief is not only sneaky, but also smart. He/she knows that the bent ones are just plain too mysterious to be useful.

(What are these for, anyway? Torture?)

So in my quest to find a non-deformed pair of scissors, I opened our storage ottoman. Remember that? The one we built ourselves so that we'd have A Great Place to Put Stuff and it would be Such a Happy Thing?

Well. We have taken that concept of "putting stuff" very, very seriously. I opened it up, and here's what I found in one half of it:

See what happens when you abuse great storage options? Sunshiney skies fade. Flowers keel over. Sweetly singing birds morph into repulsive HorseMen lounging about in swanky pleather club chairs. It's like what would have happened if the clown from It had showed up to be Cinderella's fairy godmother. 

From my cursory view of the surface, no scissors were in sight. I was tempted to close the lid and walk away, but we've been discussing how we should be using it to store items other than our garbage things we shove in there when company is coming over, so out it all came.  And let me tell you, I found some great stuff. Some stuff that proves we were definitely abusing the "great storage" feature of our great storage ottoman.

 It was like a treasure hunt for lame people.

I ended up throwing a bunch of stuff away and added a bunch to the "future yard sale" pile. Then, I filled the ottoman with birds and sunshine our game collection, a few magazines that made the cut, my vat of paint chips, and Rick's piano books (which were formerly housed in a large broken plastic drawer placed on the floor a la freshman year dorm decor). All of these items are generally used in or near the living room, anyway. Unlike the map of New Jersey, except that one time we took everything out of the ottoman and pretended it was a car while singing "The Wheels on the Bus."  But I wasn't going to mention that.

Basically, I've realized that "storage" in this case was a euphemism for "a place to stash the junk that you don't feel like putting in its proper location or thinking about." However, our ottoman has looked like the above picture for 3 weeks and looks the same, and we've even had company over a few times. I think it helps that there are items designated to be in there, because then we don't just toss in every loose item and call it a day.

I still haven't found my entire collection of scissors, however. Of course, this may be because our ottoman is obviously not the only "stuff graveyard" in our house. That closet in the hall, those drawers in the hutch...for all I know, the Horse Man has a wife and eight kids with matching velvet robes. (Optimum conception for creepy horseman babies is, after all, amid a massive pile of junk. You wish you could have left this post without that tidbit, am I right?)

Summary of points:  
1) Try to use giant storage graveyards ottomans to store specific large items.
2) Make sure those specific large items are generally used in the same vicinity of the storage graveyard ottoman.
3) Try to refrain from shoving all manner of garbage in there just to hide it from company.
4) Don't adopt a tiny Horse Man because you feel sorry for him. He will abuse your sympathy and kindness.

So what is YOUR "great storage spot" where household items go to die? Any tips for staying organized? Go ahead. Confess. You know you want to. :)

P.S. Do you have an imperfection you'd like to confess? Email me with your fun ideas: I'd love to feature some of your stories!

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  1. Our scissors are always missing too. That thief must travel far.

    I like your idea of storing games in the ottoman. Nice work.

    I also am a fan of the horse in the clubchair. I think you should have it hidden in all of your posts from now on..kind of a where's waldo thing.

    I'll think of an imperfection I'd like to confess...it shouldn't be hard.

  2. What is it with disappearing scissors?! Our blackhole of junk is the master bedroom. It is still under construction so we just put everything in there. It is horrific :/

  3. Loved this - so true, we have to assign a specific purpose for every storage space or it all goes haywire. Our tv set hides a LOT of papers papers papers papers that we need to go through... we're slowly collecting baskets and boxes for the tv set and hopefully we'll assign a specific purpose for each!

    Our two regular scissors have a spot in one of our kitchen drawers and it has helped tremendously in us not losing them. My fabric scissors, on the other hand, is missing...

  4. Hi, I am new to your blog so I figure no one here has any preconceived notion of my organizational prowess...or not. So here I go with my confession...baskets...yes baskets. I have them dotted all over my house and this is where anything that is not where it is supposed to be goes...until such a time as my husband looses his patience and then they get emptied out and everything returned to it's rightful place...so there you have it baskets.

  5. I laughed out loud when you said treasure hunt for lame people. I too would like to join the disappearing scissors club. In my house, I have one drawer delegated "junk drawer" there is just no way around it. Also, I've got an entire closet filled with stuff that I hope to tackle this month, or year. Whichever comes last.

  6. I have several spots!!! At least one in each room! My favorite, for those types of things, is a clear, over the door shoe holder. That way, I can see all the junk!

    I laughed when I saw the boxed set of paperback CS lewis books. I have the same box floating around!

  7. LOL You're a crack-up.

    "It was like a treasure hunt for lame people."

    Giggling quietly at my desk...

  8. I have a coffee table that has a little storage area under the table part of it...it's actually really pretty, and it's got great details but you'd never know that if you just looked at it. Currently it's covered in a stack of magazines, some of Joshs DJ equipment, a cashew tin that houses catnip, a can of air, a pencil bag I made for a kid I take care of, a mini pillow Josh got me for Valentine's Day, the box my phone came in (like 2 years ago), a crystal fruit bowl full of wine corks, and a foot shaped travel pedicure bag, a random old wallet, candle holder, and page I tore out of a magazine at some waiting room somewhere. Ughh, so embarrassing.

  9. My "great" storage spot?
    My closets...I literally open the door then jump away a few feet for fear that something is going to fall out of them onto me. I really should look into organizing those...

  10. We had a desk that was Rob's side table next to the bed. He's an absolute pig and it got a foot deep in random papers, plates, candy, pens, etc. It got to wear I'd just dump stuff on it when he wasn't looking so that I wouldn't have to put it away somewhere. It's not like he'd notice anything extra!!!

  11. I'm not the only one with a scissor-thief elf? When I got married, I bought like five pairs of scissors at once as a personal luxury, because when I was growing up, I had never known what it was like to be able to actually find a pair of scissors when you needed them.

    I still can't find scissors when I need them. I'm starting to think the difficulty in finding scissors is completely unrelated to how many I own.

  12. Rachel8/16/2011

    Since March 2007 I have moved 7 times. It is hard for me to fully unpack even though my most recent move is permenent for at least the next four years. So my 'storage' is a collection of cardboard boxes shoved under my desk in the office. Many things I just haven't gone through and unpacked and every once in a while I will open a box and chuck somthing in it to 'store' until I actually sort and unpack. I think that is gonna be this weekends project...Adam is getting a little, shall we say, 'pissy' about my disorganization. He couldn't find the scissors the other day either...after an hour search I found a pair (in a box under the desk....oops)

    He was griping about my lack of organization the other day and I responded with, "Dude...come to work with me one day and see how insanely organized I have EVERY THING there. I use up all my organizing skills during the work day and by the time I get home I don't much care if there are boxes under the desk. Sorry, Charlie."

    He didn't like that...wonder why...

  13. Haha too funny!!! I have a similar problem...I have an old trunk that was going to be "strictly for blankets". Well, it is in my living room so whenever I have company I end up stashing everything in there! I have yet to clear it out and I've had it for probably 8 months!! YIKES!

  14. This is so funny! I feel ya on so much of this :)

  15. Very funny post. So very, very true... The scissors you pictured are bandage scissors used in the medical field for many a wonderful task!

  16. Anonymous8/24/2011

    Your storage ottoman looks like the cabinet storage underneath our breakfast bar. We are definitely guilty of hiding things just as a guest walks in! But, we never go through it again. Oops! :)


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