In other exciting news, I cleaned our windows. {Homemade Glass Cleaner Recipe + Printable}

Um, what? Cleaning windows is exciting? Why, yes. Yes it is. Especially when I’ve never cleaned them. Ever. Not in any of the spare minutes I’ve had while dwelling in this house for the past two and a half years. I’ve clearly had more important things to do.

But I was relaxing in the living room the other day (like I said, important things happening around here) and noticed just how mortifyingly disgusting the windows were. There’s just something about smeary slimy dust and slimy cat nose residue that is not entirely endearing. “Welcome to our home; here is a cat booger for you to contemplate.”

To fix this problem, I followed the recipe found here for homemade no-streak glass cleaner, plus added a couple drops of blue food coloring to make it more official. Or something. Rick asked me why I didn’t make it pink. He said, “You had a chance to have pink cleaning products and you didn’t take it?” He’s right, of course. I blame my pregnancy brain for this unfortunate oversight.

Pregnancy brain didn’t totally conquer me, though, because I thought to make a printable for the spray bottle so that I know what the heck is in it, and a recipe for the back so I remember how the heck to make it again. And I will be making it again, because it was cheap. This whole bottle cost basically, I don’t know, twelve cents? Basically, I’ll never buy Windex again. (No smart comments predicting that this is because I don’t ever plan to clean the windows again.)

Right-click to save the file for printing!

Right-click to save the file for printing!

Quick print + packaging tape=instant waterproof label.

Also, it works. Cleared away the grime and left no streaks behind. (Ooh, catchy. That could be the slogan for the product.) To prove my point like an infomercial, I’d show you a picture of the cloth after I wiped off the front of one window, but you’d judge me. And never come to my house again. And wonder how two people could possibly get so much dirt to cling to their windows. It’s an art form, probably. So you’ll just have to picture the grimiest, blackest cloth ever, then multiply it by disgustingest squared, and know that’s what came off of our windows.

What household chores do you procrastinate on? Do you have any go-to homemade cleaners that work? Please share the link if you do—I want to phase out some of our other cleaners, too! To be honest, with our snazzy easy-access windows, cleaning windows doesn’t appear to be the worst chore ever, so it’s a mystery as to why I’ve waited so long. I much less prefer tasks like cleaning the shower. Blergh.

Rick Reupholsters a Chair, Again

Sometimes, Rick does crazy things.

One time, he jumped off the back of a moving truck, thinking he could outrun it. (He couldn’t.)

One time, he wrote the following in an email: “I’m sure anything you cook will be delicious.” (hahahaaa yeah right.)

One time, he decided he wanted to reupholster a chair for the second time. (And he did.)

The first time he reupholstered this chair was three years ago. It had been abandoned in our old apartment and covered in an unfortunate specimen of gold velour and crusty pizza sauce, so we thought, hey, why not put it out of its misery?

I picked out black and ivory zebra print for it at the time, thinking black and white would be timeless, neutral and could go anywhere, including under a cat.

Gingerbread before she decided it would be a good idea to go on the see-food diet.

Such a good think-aheader, I was.

Buuuut then I grew up a little bit and learned that zebra print is not really neutral, even in black and white. And that it’s also not really my thing, at least not on large pieces of furniture…or on old ladies with fake tans who still shop at Hollister.

Anyway, since we moved almost two years ago, we have had the chair sitting around with no room to put it in, so Rick finally decided he wanted to redo it. Off we traipsed to Joann’s, where I picked out some actually neutral red tag upholstery fabric for $6 a yard. The rest is history.

At one point during this process, Rick stated that when he retires, he would like to reupholster chairs. I told him no need to wait until he retires, that I’d be glad to fulfill his dreams immediately by purchasing a slew of hideous used furniture that he could immediately reupholster to his little heart’s content. He thanked me for being such a thoughtful wife.

Is it perfect? No. Does it work? Yes. Did it cost way less than a new chair? Yes. With the money we saved, I think I’ll buy Rick reupholstery classes. (You think I’m kidding. And so does he.)

What are some crazy things you or your husband have decided to do? Anyone have a chair they’d like to mail to Rick in the name of making his wishes come true?

Parlors, Purchases, and Palettes

Thanks to Black Friday deals, we are tackling our second living room next. Some people in this house like to call this room the “parlor,” because “second living room” sounds clunky. While I will agree with this assessment, I can’t get past the fact that a “parlor” is a place to sip tea and practice penmanship and plot how to eliminate Lavinia Swire from one’s life. (DowntonAbbeySeason3HereWeComeHOORAY.) Since I don’t like tea and my students can’t read cursive anyway and Ms. Swire has sadly succumbed to Spanish Fever, we clearly have nothing to do in a room named parlor.

This is my inspiration photo for the room:

Or…that’s the shot when we first moved in. It boasted nothing too offensive, but it was not my cup of tea, either. This is obvious because, again, I don’t even like tea. So come to think of it, nothing is my cup of tea. I hereby motion to change the expression to “my mug of steaming hot chocolate” or “my mug of ice cream because that’s all I consume from a mug.”

That’s the real plan. We ordered the Henry Sofa in Dove Gray Performance Velvet from West Elm last week during their 20% off sale, after much debate about whether or not to pull the trigger on it. Ultimately, we realized that there was no other couch in that style/color/fabric at a cheaper price, and just went for it. The other item on its way due to Black Friday sales is the rug—it is this one from Rugs USA, purchased for 75% off the list price of $733 (!).

Everything else in the room I plan to get secondhand, like the lamps and end tables, or DIY, like the curtains and pillows. The gold nesting tables are already in my possession, scored for $6 at a giant yard sale back in October. The cat was free with purchase. Meow.

And I’m sure you’re not wondering, but my inspiration for the color scheme came from Design Seeds. If you love color and have never visited that website, you must do so. Like, yesterday. The only problem I can see with it is that you will want to use like 800 of the color palettes and sadly only have 700 or so rooms in which you can execute said palettes. I eventually settled on this one with the charcoal, gray, teal, golden yellow, and plum.

I am not 100% sure what that blue thing is coming out of that lemony object, but if it’s a fuse as the title suggests, I have a suspicion that the creator of this picture is actually my husband, who is planning on setting said lemony object on fire. This is, of course, nothing like the time he and his cousin strapped a firework to a Barbie doll and shot it across the road. Absolutely no similarity. None.

Boys these days.

Did you make any Black Friday home purchases? Have you used Design Seeds for color remediation? Is tea your cup of tea?

On (Not) Finding the Perfect Secondhand Sofa

The perfect secondhand sofa does exist, in some dimension of this universe.

That dimension is not the dimension I live in.

This is unfortunate, because we are in the market for a sofa for our second living room and we want to be mindful of our spending. And apparently, in the dimension I live in, that means limiting ourselves to jewels beyond our wildest imagination. Jewels out of The Twilight Zone. Or someone’s basement.

Take this Craigslisted jewel, for instance. Hello, DIY reupholstery job. (I hope?)

This next one “could use a light cleaning.” Or burning. A light burning. Yes. (EWlookatthosepillows.)

“Picture may show otherwise, but they are gently used.” Gently used by…dogs?

No words.

My guess? This one IS the perfect used sofa. But I’ll never know, what with the high-quality picture we have going on here.

Really, though, just when I thought my searches were in vain, I found this. Buy one floral sectional, get 15 matching accent pillows free.

JACKPOT.

I was not paid or perked by Craigslist to promote the sale of these sofas. Obviously.

That Time We Bought a (Gasp!) White Dishwasher

Remember those “growing up” moments when you get to put on your big-girl hat?

First time without a diaper. (Okay, I don’t actually remember that.)

First time without swimmies in the pool.

First time driving without an adult in the car.

First time picking out your own major appliance.

Gingerbread, washing her dishes.

Awww.

Yes, I’m now officially all grown-up with my own house and my own husband and my own big girl job and my own new dishwasher that I picked out all by myself with the help of that husband. This is our first appliance purchase since we’ve been homeowners, because all the rest were left in the house. So this is what you might call a Big Deal. Somebody needs to treat me to ice cream. Ice cream that will not be eaten with this slimy, freshly washed fork.

Our former dishwasher was old when we bought the house a year and a half ago, and the inspector couldn’t tell us the make/model because the sticker was all worn away. It had been running less and less effectively over the past several months, a problem we like to call My Newly Washed Plates Are Covered In Something That Might Be Old Lasagna But I Can’t Be Entirely Certain Because We Haven’t Recently Eaten Lasagna. This was especially not okay because we were obviously pouring water and energy into getting that maybe-lasagna off in the first place, and might as well have just started feeding our dollars to the cats. Like this one, who thought the dishwasher box was her personal hotel.

So we did a little research on dishwashers and found that the best time of year to buy most large appliances (with the exception of refrigerators) is September/October because that is when new models come out, and stores need to clear out old models. (New refrigerators hit stores in May according to several websites.) However, we weren’t keen on waiting too much longer because of the crusty dish factor, so we decided to buy one in August. As it was, our dishwasher of choice (this Whirlpool Gold Built-In) was already on sale for 10% off ($549 original price), plus we used a 10% off Lowe’s coupon on top of that, and received an additional 5% in cash back by linking through Shop Discover. This brought the grand total of our new toy (before tax) to $422. Not the cheapest dishwasher ever, but not the most expensive, either.

We were willing to pay a bit to get exactly what we wanted versus settle for something okay that we’d later want to get rid of (not the best plan with expensive appliances) so here were our non-negotiables, in order of importance:

1. A white, glossy, non-textured finish. What? White? But you know white is not trendy? Yes. And I don’t care. We found that white models were typically at least $50 less than the stainless steel version of the same dishwasher, but that really wasn’t why we opted white.Truth be told, I just don’t love stainless steel, no offense to anyone in the stainless steel fan club—it NEVER looks clean enough (with streaks, smudges, etc.) and this drives me batty. I don’t want to have to clean my appliances every few days. The end.

2. Great reviews from other buyers. At first, we were getting frustrated with not finding any reviews on the dishwashers we were looking at. But then a lightbulb went off, and I realized why there were none or very few: because everyone is buying and reviewing the stainless options. Because I am the only one in the world buying white. (Duh.) Sure enough, while there was just one 4/5 star review for our white version, there were 30 for the stainless with an average of 4.5/5 stars. Sold. There was actually one model we really liked until we read the reviews, which said multiple times that if you put bowls in the upper rack, your dishes don’t get clean and/or your kitchen floods. Um, what? Reviews=lifesavers.

3. An Energy Star rating. The one we picked out will only cost $27 a year to run, if we were to run it 4 times a week, which we don’t.

4. Hidden controls. You’ll pay more for this, but it looks a lot nicer. And I am highly attracted to good-looking major appliances. Okay, that’s a bit of an exaggeration/weird statement. Erase it from your memory.

5. A chrome or silver handle. Okay, that was just something I was looking for. Rick doesn’t care. It looks nicer than regular plastic. Refer to #4. It’s the little things…

Everything else was negotiable. Like the individual slots for silverware and the fact that the upper rack can be lowered to fit larger items up there.

As for the old dishwasher, it’s currently taking up space in our enclosed porch. We’re debating putting it on Craigslist for really cheap or free if someone wanted it for parts or repair, or if someone doesn’t like to cook and would appreciate the maybe-old-lasagna that is generated upon washing dishes. This is a definite selling point.

Are you a white or stainless steel appliance person? Do you want our old dishwasher for leftovers?

Evolution of a Bed: Headboard & Pillows

Meet our bed.

Meet our bed one month ago. And while you’re meeting it, don’t pretend you aren’t wondering when we moved into a college dorm room.

Seriously, all that’s missing is a shower basket and the lingering scent of the dining hall and a poster of a kitten in a teacup.

In true college-budget fashion, we built the headboard for under $50. The velvet fabric was $8 for two yards on clearance at Joann’s, the wood is really crappy 3/4” plywood that was around $18 a sheet, the batting was on sale, $8 for a giant roll at Joann’s, and the faux nailhead trim was also from Joann’s: 5 yards regularly for $19.99, but only $12 with a 40% off coupon.

What’s that? You want a close-up of that sleeping kitten? Okay.

We didn’t follow a specific tutorial, but Kelly has a good one if you’re looking for a step-by-step upholstered headboard process. Overall, it was one of our easiest projects yet. Rick is somehow a professional at curved upholstery and so he upholstered the whole thing single-handedly in about the time it took me to get ready for church a couple of Sundays ago. Seriously, I went into the bathroom seeing plywood and came out seeing velvet. And the addition of the faux nailhead trim took us maybe 30 minutes max. It was seriously so easy to use.

Enlisting a cat is not necessary.

I measured one inch from the edge of the headboard, Rick held the trim in place, I held the nail in place with pliers, and Rick hammered it in. It would have been significantly more difficult if we hadn’t been helping each other and I had been, say, taking photos of cats while Rick was hard at work.

You can tell it isn’t the real deal from up close, but that’s okay with me.

The fabric for the accent pillow is Jaclyn Smith Clarinet Heritage, also from my BFF Joann. It is regularly $44.99 a yard, which is a bit steep for me, but the colors were perfect so who am I to say no? I got it for 60% off and only needed half a yard, so that plus the batting to stuff inside of it made the whole pillow cost about $20.

And if you thought the college bed “before” was pretty darn ugg (just getting my vocabulary ready for the teenagers I will be reacquainted with in less than 2 weeks…) remember what that half of the room looked like when we bought the house?

If you have a few hours with nothing better to do, you can read about the whole de-closeting, de-birding, de-carpeting, de-texturing process here.

Have you used faux nailhead trim? What did you decorate your college dorm room with? Who wants to crack “You might be a cat lady if…” jokes at my expense? Go ahead. I can take it.

***Linking up to Thrifty Décor Chick, Serenity Now, The Shabby Creek Cottage and Embracing Change!***

Yard Sales: The Reason I Pay Full Price For, Well, Mainly Nothing

25:1. That is the approximate ratio of new to secondhand things in our house. I came to this number by the highly scientific method of sitting here at the computer and thinking for .03 seconds. Like I said, scientific. But science isn’t always totally foolproof, right? Take Marie Curie for example.

Seriously, secondhand stuff makes up the majority of my house. I don’t pay full price for much of anything, and don’t buy much of anything brand new. Thrift stores are okay (the ones around here can have ridiculously high prices), but yard sales..they are the fudge to my brownies. The ice to my cream. They are, to me, what radium was to Marie Curie. Until it killed her.

Because really, where else can you get 10 clear (they really aren’t blue), cut glass plates for just $2 total?

Where else can you get all four of these lights for just $13 total?

Where else can you get these two ornate picture frames for $6 total?

Where else can you get 6 regular, non-ornate but still perfectly acceptable picture frames for $2 total? (Side note: I will not pay more than $.25 for a plain, wooden small picture frame and generally not more than $1 for a large one. Why? Because I know I can find them for that cheap somewhere else, if not at that particular yard sale. Thrift store frame prices are generally too high for me. I might be a dying breed.)

Where else can you get a globe on a stick for $4?

Where else can you get a brassy scale for $3?

Where else can you get two fancy bathroom fixtures for $1.25 total (and from two separate yard sales, nonetheless)?

Where else can you get a photo of a guy and his beloved fastened to a plastic plate and a wooden paddle?

You know you want to pin that.

If you enthusiastically chanted “Nowhere but a yard sale, of course!” because I tricked you with that whole repetitive question and answer thing, sorry. Not this time. Because that plate gem was free, from a trash can next to a yard sale. I can’t decide if it was tossed because the relationship ended badly or the concept of screwing a picture to a plastic plate and then a wooden paddle ended badly. But I have big plans for that wooden paddle. Big plans. Okay, just plans.

Do you buy mostly new, or mostly used? What are your price limits for typical yard sale fare like picture frames? Who is going to run out and plaster a photo of themselves on a plastic plate?

Don’t forget: the Pretty Prints digital print giveaway ends tonight at midnight! There will be two winners!

P.S. As you might have noticed, I just became part of the BlogHer publishing network. Rick just emailed me to say there was a floating ad on my blog when he loaded the page. I fiddled with some settings and hope it’s fixed, but if you see a floating ad yourself, please please please let me know—I opted out of those because they are, well, annoying. How can you see pictures of picture plate paddle art when there is an ad hanging out there?