Guess what. {Sort of really big news that rhymes with “sweater gnomes and lard pins”.}

Is it just me, or whenever you see someone say “I have big news!” do you automatically assume it means they are pregnant? You know, unless they are male. Or 97. Or male AND 97.

But seriously…I have big news. And I’m not pregnant. (Or male, incidentally.) Guess what it is?

You’ll never guess. So I’ll give you a hint.

It rhymes with sweater gnomes and lard pins.

It rhymes with sweater gnomes and lard pins coming to my house to take pictures of Kenley’s raindrops wall for the “I Did It” page of the July issue.

You’re probably thinking this is an April Fool’s joke. It’s not an April Fool’s joke. Whoopee cushions and fake spiders are more my jam. (Nope, not true.)

Anyway, my first reaction to the email from the BH&G editor: this is some kind of ridiculous joke. I fully expected masked crusaders to jump out of the walls and announce that I’d been punk’d. When no such crusaders appeared, I began cleaning. Furiously. Just in case BH&G planned to show up in a few minutes or something. As it turns out, they’re coming in just a couple of weeks. I’m going to begin doing my hair now to make sure it doesn’t look like a dead animal. Good idea? And Kenley is already practicing her best magazine model faces.

And I’m practicing my best faces, too.

I’ll be sure to share all the silly details, like when they show up and are all like, “Oops, we made a mistake and meant to go to someone else’s house; sorry.” Because seriously. My house has no business being in a magazine. Unless that magazine is actually called Sweater Gnomes and Lard Pins. (Riveting stuff, right there.)

Until then:

Eeeeeeeek!

 

P.S. I realize I excel at the art of blog abandonment. I hope to get back into a blogging routine—again—shortly. I’ve been a little distracted by a separate business venture. That sounds shady….but I assure you it’s not shady. I’ll share more soon!