The Great Chandelier Swap (and the Tragedy of Disproportionate Endowment)

Have you ever read a decorating magazine only to figure out that you’re doing everything wrong?

Yeah, me neither. I mean, obviously. My threshold for redoing things in my house is 18 million and four. This is, of course, the exact number required to meet the criteria for Perfection.

But if I was temporarily imperfect, and I did, for example, read a decorating magazine and learn that a good diameter for a ceiling light is minimally the length + width of the room (especially with high ceilings, like we have in our downstairs), I would immediately see that this is true, and that boob lights are, in general, not even close to proportionate with the rest of a body room. And let me tell you, there is nothing worse than having disproportionate boobs.*

*I do not speak from experience. 

So when I was shopping for a replacement chandelier for our dining room, I tried to keep this “rule” in mind. This meant that with our dining room having a length of 16 and a width of 13, we’d need a chandelier that was at least 29” across in order to not be dwarfed in the room. Giant chandeliers, though, are not cheap. Which is the exact opposite of me. I am cheap. One thing led to another, though, and I ended up with a Groupon for Rugs USA, and got this 34”D chandelier for 65% off, bringing the total down to $90 with my Groupon.

No, not 34D. 34”D. There is a difference. I think.

We then sold our previous chandelier on Craigslist for $40, bringing the total to replace it with the new one to a mere $50. That works for a cheapo like me. The finish is obviously brass now, which I like in the room, but I can easily change it with spray paint like I did with this one.

Now to find some curtains for this room. Am I the only one who struggles with picking out the right curtain material? Please say no. And my eye also thinks something is off with the chair seat fabric; maybe the color. What do you think? Boo picky eye.

Have you heard the length + width “rule” for ceiling lights? What design rules have you abided by or broken? Are you the proud owner of any unique physical traits? My left foot is almost an entire size larger than my right foot. This makes shoe shopping somewhat difficult.

PS-If you’re wondering whether or not I always speak openly about the Facts of Womanhood, of course the answer is NO yes. Can you find the hidden bra in this old post? And do you remember The Video I mention in this even older post?