How to Expedite Your DIY Process

Friends, I’ve discovered the secret to fast-moving DIY projects. You may have formerly believed that quick project turnaround involved things like impeccable organization, brilliant planning, excellent follow-through, enviable determination, or mad skillzz with power tools and/or a hot glue gun. I am here to tell you that none of that is really true. Well, it is true. But it isn’t as true as something else. And what is that something else?

Inconvenience.

Yes. Inconvenience. Having our clothes in a pile down the hall as we gave our closet a much-needed makeover was a minor inconvenience.

Not being able to watch Castle for a whole two weeks because our living room was MIA as we redid the ceiling was a major inconvenience.

For two whole weeks, a ridiculous bucket of joint compound and a dust-infested living room sat between me and my favorite homicide investigators. (I know so few.)  I’m pretty sure that they were as bummed about it as I was.

In my dreams, their conversation is significantly more brilliant.

Thanks to said inconvenience, we were Super Motivated to finish the terrible task of hanging new drywall for the ceiling, finishing it (mudding, sanding, painting), and repainting the walls and wainscoting within two weeks time. Not bad considering we both worked full-time and Rick is busy with Legally Blonde pit rehearsal. Would we have finished it so quickly, though, if we hadn’t been so inconveniently inconvenienced? Absolutely not.

So the next time you begin a project, I suggest any of the following forms of inconvenience to help you expedite your process, too. Use alone, or combine with others for a truly inconvenient experience.

1. Exchange your car for a horse. A really, really old horse. A really, really old horse with bad breath.

2. Place your alarm clock down the hall and set it to wake you up an hour early every day with the most annoying song you can think of. Recommended titles are “The Song That Never Ends,” “The Twelve Days of Christmas,” and “It’s a Small World.”

3. Place all chocolate or other favored food item of your choice in a locked cabinet with a small bomb inside. Set to detonate in a very limited amount of time.

4. Disable your Pinterest account.

5. Install a fire-breathing dragon in your toilet.

What are your suggestions for how to inconvenience yourself in the name of expedited DIY? Who wants to have a Castle marathon with me? We don’t watch much television, but Castle is one that I really look forward to. Suspense + humor + well-written and unpredictable storylines = yes, please. You’re all invited to the season finale in our again-livable living room. I’ll make sure that the dragon has moved to a less moist climate by then.