A tribute to "DUH" moments (and the end of the school year).

So, I asked on Friday if any of you could identify this symbol that appears 13 times around the perimeter of our pool. Thank you to all who were concerned about our safety, thus pointing out that we should be wary to javelin or eat cotton candy while swimming. We felt pretty good about those clever warnings. Except...then some very smart someone brought it to my attention that the symbol looked like “no diving”…only upside down.

(Insert giant pause here in which I tap my head thoughtfully and wonder how I could have missed that.) 

See what happens when you rotate it?

The problem is that from the deck, (which I’m pretty sure is the point from which I’ve done nearly all of my pool diving) the symbol IS upside down. Leading us less-perceptive folks to think it was some wonky symbol about miscreant electrical lines. Of course, I am sure that once we were actually able to swim in our pool, as opposed to peering at its cloudy Black Lagoon-ness from said deck, we would have figured this out immediately, seeing as how from that vantage point the symbol would have been right side up. This picture is proof of our shrewdness and cunning intelligence, and will surely convince you that we have brains:

Yeah. That's actually kind of embarrassing. I call this face "Monkey Doing Ballet While Holding Back Upchuck." I don't know what Rick calls his face. And he's off taking his boards, so I can't even ask him. Or get permission to post this photo. Buahahaha...

Anyway, I am going to blame my lapse in logic on something completely separate from our pool, our house, and our overall general focus of this blog. As a tribute to the (almost) end of the school year, I am going to blame it on the very true fact that I have spent a year with 9^th graders writing the things I am about to list, along with my own commentary. These are NOT made up, so I apologize if your faith in the future generation dwindles after reading. Rest assured that this is only a very small sampling of the statements that parade across my desk, and in no way should they represent the majority of student work, which is, by most standards, usually pretty brilliant. ;)

Drumroll please!

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The Best of Grading: 2010-11

 “I would like to be the vladavictorian someday.”

-Words You Should Know How to Spell if You Want to Be Head of Your Class

 “I would have a higher GPS if I studied.”

-How Hard Work Can Elevate your Global Positioning Device from Dashboard to Ceiling

 “To curl your hair, put a handful of mouse in it.”

-Natural Hair Care for Rodent Lovers

 “The two pants won’t let them get married because they hate each other.”

-The Impact Feuding Trousers Can Have on Holy Matrimony

“I liked that virgin better because Leonardo Dicaprio is in it and he’s my husband.”

-The Disturbing Preferences of Delusional Individuals

 “The old version is better because Romeo & Juliet shouldn’t have all that new technology, like guns, cars, and black people.”

-iRace and Other Innovative Gadgets

“The characters faced many testes in this book.”

-What Every Parent Wants to See When Reading a Child's Lit Analysis

(*Please note: that should have been ‘tests’, lest you think I’m assigning literature that is better left in an adult store.)

 “The candy won’t be as bad for me as it will be for you because I’m young and have more anatomy on my teeth.”

-How to Get Rejected from Dental School

“My eyes hopefully haven’t tricked me, for I believe that have just looked into the eyes of a beautiful angle.”

-Pick-Up Lines for the Obtuse and Acute 

“Sour Lifesavers are the best because they are sour but also sweat.”

-'So That's Why My Candy Tasted Like B.O.' and Other Stories

“There are many spices that rely on polar bears.”

- How Extinction Will Impact our Rosemary and Dill Supply

“One of my weaknesses is that I am unorganism.”

-Solid Excuses for the Inability to Locate Your Homework, If You’re a Rock

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Yes, yesterday marked the last official day of classes, which means that it will be another 2 ½ months before I again have the distinct pleasure of snorting my yogurt out my nose while grading. It also means I won’t have anything to blame future "DUH" moments on. So…feel free to misuse words in any and all future comments, just so I don’t forget what it’s like to have cultured goo pass through my nasal cavities.